It Happens So Fast
There is a pair of sisters we’ve taken in at SOLD. Spunky and vivacious the pair of them are, and cute to boot. Less than a year ago, I was sitting at the Resource Center watching the Disney classic, Cinderella, with them, reveling in their childlike innocence. I never dreamed how quickly that could slip away.
I’ve been on my own odyssey since I first arrived here, trying everything I can think of to challenge and motivate these kids, these children at-risk, to dare to dream of something bigger for their life, and to find what they love and to pursue it with everything they’ve got. These children haven’t been taught to imagine or question. In fact, it has mostly been drummed out of them by hardship and poor schooling. Nevertheless, we push on, hoping to catch the flicker of a light somewhere.
But the world does not rest in stasis. While I pondered lesson plans and tried to learn what would work with them and what wouldn’t, the children continued growing. Those of you who are parents know this already: how quickly children grow and change, experiment and adapt, and slip away through your fingers like so many dew drops. Turn away for a fraction too long and a different person stands in the child before you.
I returned to the Resource Center after the Christmas holiday to find these sisters so altered I barely recognized the little girls who watched Cinderella with me just a year ago. Instead of wearing school uniforms or plain girlie clothes, they were dressed to the height of Chiang Rai fashion, in short skirts and tight leggings, and the disaffected attitude of sixteen-year-olds. Except they’re eleven. This change might only have registered a raised eyebrow and perhaps a mini red flag in the back of one’s mind, if it weren’t for the fact that they’ve also gradually been dropping out of our Saturday classes. Their regular attendance has turned towards spotty, their eagerness and interest faded to zilch. The latter has been cause for concern for me for the last few months. By now, my mind is screaming danger.
Their mother is worried too. When I brought up my concerns to other staff, it has come out that one of the sisters has a boy who she seems to be getting involved with, and she has expressed the sense that she’s tired of school and is considering dropping out. She’s eleven.
Of their crowd, these girls are the popular ones. They’re big fish in a small pond, and because they’re fun and cute, they’re used to attention and relative ease in the world. It makes it easy for them to shy away from difficult work and hard choices, when the right path isn’t fun enough. It also makes them easy prey.
Being the popular ones, they may have the power to affect the other girls around them too, encouraging others to take the fast road over the high road with them.
We’re fighting like mad to be good mentors, to talk with them, to encourage them, and to inspire them. But if there are magic words, we haven’t yet found them. We are not their parents; we can exercise no control. So how do we stop them before it’s too late? What words of advice or encouragement will reach them? What can we do to help them see where different paths lead and give them the strength to choose the better one?
Falling away. It happens little by little, and yet all too fast. How do we catch them before they fall?
- Jade Keller
Education Program Manager
An Old SOLD Friend Returns
A few months ago, Adrian Rowse began a 73-day journey in Thailand called the “Isaiah 58 Experiment.” He had first visited Thailand back in January 2010 on a SOLD vision trip, and he returned home to begin using his influence to advocate for the work of The SOLD Project, as well as then-brand-new Urban Light. Today, Adrian’s goal upon returning to these places and organizations is simple: “Spend intentional time connecting with God each day and, out of that, love and serve those who are vulnerable and exploited wherever I have opportunity to do so.”
Adrian has spent the last two or so months with Urban Light, a non-profit working with teen boy prostitutes in Chiang Mai. Urban Light was started by Alex Russell, who officially began her work during the same trip to Thailand Adrian attended back in 2010. He recently headed north to reconnect with our on-the-ground work in Chiang Rai.
“On Friday, I left my home [with Urban Light] of the last two and a half months and took the three hour car ride to Chiang Rai. I was here exactly two years ago (to the day), on a trip with The SOLD Project, designed to give a bunch of people exposure to the issues of human trafficking and child prostitution. I’m here for just a week, hanging out with the team from SOLD who’s mission is in a nutshell, the prevention of child prostitution – or as their slogan says, ‘Sex sells. Children. Help stop it before it begins.’
“It has been amazing in the last 24 hours to see how much the work and impact of SOLD has grown in the last two years. Their work revolves around providing educational scholarships to the most at-risk children in their region. Without this support, these children would drop out of school with a bare basics education and be under pressure to seek work in the cities to support their families – drastically increasing their vulnerability to being trafficked or exploited. Today SOLD provide scholarships to one hundred children and have a 98% school retention rate over the four years that they have been working in this part of Chiang Rai. Much of this success can be attributed to the quality of SOLD’s Thai staff, the level of engagement of SOLD with the local community and the support, vision and resources of SOLD’s US-based staff, (some of the best quality people I’ve had the pleasure of seeing in action).
Two years ago, I looked at a patch of red dirt that was to become SOLD’s first resource centre. The Resource Centre is now bursting at the seams and plans are underway to expand. The really exciting thing is that the SOLD model is working brilliantly and will be easily transferable (and tweakable), to other communities in northern Thailand and perhaps to other parts of Asia. Possibilities for an expanding work are likely in the near future.
The organisation was started just a few years ago by a couple of twenty-something girls from California, who were stirred to act in response to what they were learning about human trafficking and sexual exploitation.
“It has been refreshing to be back in Chiang Rai, to be reminded of the critical part that prevention plays in these complex issues.”
Adrian is the former director of Roundabout Ministries, which “aims to provide young people with support, encouragement and information that will enable them to make significant, life-changing choices regarding their future direction of travel in life, particularly in the area of sexuality and identity.” He is also an accomplished speaker and musician in Australia.
Oh, and one more thing: Adrian has a crazy goal to raise $100,000 for SOLD and Urban Light in 2012. Learn more here.
Adrian in Thailand, 2010 (Photo by Daniel Showalter)
Meet Shannon, New Resident of Thailand
Shannon O’Malley recently moved to Chiang Rai, Thailand as The SOLD Project’s new Director of Volunteers and Interns. Shannon, a former intern who has visited Thailand with SOLD before, recently graduated from Hult International Business School in London with a Master of Arts in International Relations.
Fresh out of graduate school, Shannon is taking a big risk. Most of her income will come from generous gifts from her family and friends and strangers who believe in her and the importance of the work she is doing. She is moving to a new place with new people and an entirely new way of living. She has been a faithful and fantastic partner with SOLD for years now, and we’re glad she’s back!
How did you get started with SOLD?
[SOLD President] Rachel Goble Carey and I met while I was still in high school and she was about to start her post-grad studies. We kept in touch and I followed her journey as she was doing her own child exploitation awareness, which then evolved into SOLD. After I finished my undergrad, I asked if I could intern with The SOLD Project and I was hooked from there!
What keeps you pressing on in this work? What gets you excited about being involved?
It has been incredible to see how far SOLD has come and how much of an impact they have made on the lives of the children and families they work with. I truly believe that prevention is the key, and while it may not be the most glamourous, I would like to contribute as much as I possibly can. Its exciting to see the kids who are in to program, who are extremely at risk, and just to see where their life is going to take them after they are given an education.
How is the support-raising going?
Support-raising has been phenomenal. It is such a daunting task, but it is truly incredible to watch the donations come in. People are so generous and it has been a humbling process for sure. [You can support Shannon's work here by giving a one-time or monthly gift; select "O'Malley Salary."]
What are you most nervous/excited about in regards to moving to Thailand?
I am so excited to just get there! I have been planning for this move for what seems like forever, I am just excited to start. Thailand is just incredible, and I am really looking forward to a slower pace of
life, especially after living in London the past year. I can’t wait to get to know the kids and meet people in Chiang Rai. I guess I’m nervous about eating too much rice. Oh, and driving!!!
Why is the area of prevention so important?
Prevention is so important because if gives children the chance to never see a life of exploitation. Through education, they are given opportunities, not only to learn and work, but to dream. While other areas of anti-exploitation work are crucial, once a person has been exposed to that life there is no erasing it. Not to mention that a high percentage actually return to prostitution after being rescued. Prevention, in my belief, is the most important and effective way to stop child exploitation.
Shannon plans to be in Thailand for a year, being a liaison between the work on the ground and short- and long-term volunteers who arrive to partner with us. Follow Shannon on her blog and be on the look out for stories and pictures from her new life with the kids in Thailand!
Cooking with Field Crabs // Thailand 2010
Lives Changed, Etc.
Just over one year ago, I was walking through the little village in Chiang Rai where Michael and I had lived for the past six months, on my way to say good-bye to little Oii. As we were packing our bags for the move back to the U.S., I heard Oii had been home sick from school for a few days, so I went to her house. I knocked and knocked, but no one answered. A conversation in broken Thai with a neighbor told me her friends had dragged her to school that day after all.
As I turned from her house to go, I walked past the small building in the yard where Michael and I had stayed during our first visit to Thailand a year before that day. For one endless night, we had slept restlessly under the mosquito netting as we listened to what we thought was a giant lizard crawling along the roof. It was actually a rooster, we discovered bright and early. As I stood in Oii’s yard and remembered that night, it seemed like forever ago.
Now, sitting at my desk in Michigan, that day in the yard seems even more a distant memory. I’m living in Grand Rapids now, working a full-time office job while Michael works for SOLD from home. Sometimes when I get home from work, I will pound him with questions about what is going on, what stories he has heard, what the kids are up to. I pretty much accost anyone at work with flyers and information about SOLD if the conversation meanders in the slightest towards trafficking or Thailand or non-profits or rice or words that rhyme with SOLD. (I’m not picky.) Sometimes Michael and I go to a local Thai place and exchange a few words in Thai with the chef, and this earns us complimentary coconut ice cream without fail.
It is hard to believe a year has passed since we were in Thailand, a time when we were (sort of) speaking the language and (fully) enjoying the food and (beyond expression) cementing our belief in the power of prevention more and more each day. Thank you to all of you who have walked a similar journey with The SOLD Project.
Here’s to more years passing and even more lives changed. Because if there is one thing I learned about trying to help change the lives of at-risk children in Thailand, it’s that they have the power to change my heart even more.
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Heather and Michael Colletto lived at the Resource Center in Thailand in the second half of 2010. They first visited Thailand on a vision trip in January 2010. Michael is SOLD’s Communications Director and Heather continues to work part-time with donor relations and managing the SOLD blog. They live and work in Grand Rapids, Michigan and hope a return visit to Thailand is in their near future!
A Weekend Getaway
Finding ways to reach out to the children we work with and address their most pressing needs and concerns is not always an easy task. Sometimes we have to poke and pry and push, and sometimes we can only pull back and give them time, hoping that we left them at least pointed in the right direction.
In our poking and prodding, however, we did begin to hear a common refrain from the kids: I can’t talk to my parents. They don’t understand.
Allow us a knowing nod. Who here hasn’t gone through adolescence feeling, at some point, hard done by and misunderstood? That sharp, citrus cream of melancholic angst is a familiar taste, and the subject of countless Michael Cera-esque flicks.
But place that all-too-universal feeling under the magnifying lens of poverty and hardship, and shove it in the box of cultural taboos against disrespecting your elders (where even simple disagreement can be construed as disrespect), and throw in the excesses of teenage drama, plus the individual’s problems (problems at school, problems at work, romantic breakups…or even teenage pregnancy), and you’ve got some very combustible components just waiting to ignite.
Communication is not always a strong point in Thai culture. The concept of saving face may provide the veneer of social harmony, but it does not facilitate the open discussion of true feelings and real problems. It requires a real dance of polite words concealing all the things one cannot say. But communication between children and their parents is essential. For the work we do at SOLD, it is essential that kids feel they have a supportive environment so they won’t feel compelled to leave, seeking solace in the streets. We hope to provide a united front with the parents, too, in encouraging the kids to stay in school and to dream higher for themselves. But sometimes the pressures parents face here means that message gets lost. Many parents, themselves, came from unstable homes, and even if they want to be stable and secure providers, their lack of education or experience leaves them ill-equipped to do so. The parents have dreams and fears too, and in turn, wish they knew how to better communicate their feelings with their children.
At SOLD, we know we can’t solve all the problems between parents and their children, but we did hope we could do something to help ameliorate this problem of communication. So we put together a weekend camp getaway for the kids and their families.
A weekend getaway
We invited them to a two-day camp at a resort in the mountains, and in partnership with trained counselors, we focused on allowing the kids and their parents to air their concerns, both in separated groups apart from each other and then together as a group, and to find ways to learn to communicate them better.
Kids sharing together
Drawing exercises
Drawing their hopes
The beginning wasn’t easy, as you can probably imagine. But we played different types of games, engaged in a variety of exercises, they wrote and drew, and we encouraged listening and honesty.
Parents joining in the activity
Kids and parents together
There was sharing, laughter, tears…and shared embrace.
Giggles were involved
Hugs welcome
…And, um…dancing.
It was both powerful and humbling, and we walked away from the event thrilled.
We hope this weekend away sparked something big: a change in how the parents and children viewed each other and their hope of mutual understanding. We hope it sparked a sense of trust, that if you have something to say, you will be heard.
Love!
Photos from Our Year-end Event at Wente Vineyard
Last Monday, December 12, The SOLD Project hosted its annual year-end fundraising event and silent auction at Wente Vineyard. We thought it might be a fun way for you to meet some of our staff in action! Here are a few photos from the evening:
Shannon, Dir. of Volunteers, working the "register" at the merch table
Michael, Communications Dir., working the computer (as always!)
Roy, Board Chairman, speaking with guests
Rachel, President, sharing about SOLD's work in Thailand
The silent auction!
Let the bidding begin!
Guests shopping the silent auction
We’re back on the Philanthroper homepage today, December 16, and, in celebration of the holidays, the donation limit has been lifted! Believing that “a little helps a lot,” Philanthroper asks people to simply give $1 to make a difference. (Read more about their awesome philosophy here.) So give $1, give $10—heck, give $1,000 if you can swing it : )
$1 pays for one day of schooling for an at-risk child in northern Thailand whose future might otherwise include exploitation. Here’s what your money can do:
- $1—keeps a child in school for one day
- $4—provides a week of prevention resources
- $55—provides a month of university education
- $192—provides a year of prevention resources
We were first featured on Philanthroper earlier this summer and, at the time, ended up being one of their top ten most successful campaigns ever, raising more than $600 in one day. Since then, the bar has been raised. What do you think, eager abolitionists? Can we bring our total above $2,600 today? Because that would be amazing.
Give $1
Speaking of breaking records, yesterday Philanthroper hit $100,000 in total donations! Congratulations and THANK YOU to all the Philanthropers out there who have given a little to SOLD and so many other worthy causes. You’re making a difference!
Winter Wonderland in Thailand
When all was quiet, and no one was looking, and all the children had abandoned their play, elves stole into the classroom, and strung up a winter wonderland, snowy, delicate, and white.
Kelly, one of our volunteer English teachers, upon seeing the elves’ work, remarked that it was lovely to hang such things because, when she was a kid, she always felt like it was magical when you had to look up at something. There was something powerful in that simple act, looking up. And somehow that feeling of magic fades over the years, perhaps because we stopped looking up.
Over the winter holidays, we hope you find occasion to look up.
Limited-time offer: Buy dinner, help prevent child prostitution
It’s philanthropy! It’s fun! It’s a new way to give, and it’s called Charitubl.
Right now through next Tuesday, you have the opportunity to purchase (for yourself or as a gift!) credit good for dinner at one of two New York City restaurants—and have 20-30 percent of the purchase price go directly to help fight child prostitution. It’s a charitable donation that comes with a fun experience and unique story, and it’s brought to you by Charitubl, which launched yesterday in New York city.
Just choose your restaurant, designate that you’d like to benefit The SOLD Project, and purchase your credit! (Credit must be redeemed by January 20, 2012.) Now there’s a gift card that your family and friends will be proud to receive and eager to talk about!
Choose from Veranda, a Mediterranean/Middle-eastern restaurant and hookah bar, or French restaurant Lina Frey. Enjoy!
Looking for a special treat or unique gift this holiday season? New Yorkers need look no further.
charitubl.com launched in New York late this summer and has already introduced local subscribers to restaurants, bars, fashion items, and more, but it’s not just an ordinary city-happening website. Rather, “charitubl allows you to discover your city’s happenings by giving you opportunities to donate to charity.”
Here’s how it works: charitubl features two charities each week and introduces them to people side-by-side with limited-time local purchasing opportunities such as restaurant menu tastings, cocktails at exclusive lounges, spin classes at boutique gyms, concerts at live music venues, and facials and massages at luxury spas. When the customer chooses and purchases an activity or event, a percentage of their purchase will go directly to the charity he or she has chosen.
Starting tomorrow, December 7, charitubl will feature The SOLD Project for one week! So, sign up today and treat yourself to something special between December 7 and December 13. Not only will you get a unique gift or experience, you’ll get the satisfaction of helping us prevent child prostitution in Thailand. Cool, right? Don’t forget to brag about your purchase to your friends—the more the merrier!
When we spoke with co-founder Mike Dellatte, he was careful to emphasize that charitubl isn’t a daily deals site. Instead, it curates relationships with higher end businesses offering much higher quality goods and experiences at full price. That way, co-founder Mike Celemente elaborated, “everybody wins: the businesses look great and drive new traffic, the charities receive additional funds and awareness and the customers know they did a great thing.”
charitubl is still building its network of partners in New York city, so if you’re a local business interested in getting involved, contact charitubl at interest@charitubl.com. For now, charitubl is exclusive to New York city residents, but they hope to expand to other cities in the future.
New Yorkers, sign up now! Everyone, stay updated on Twitter (@charitubl) and Facebook, or check out the charitubl blog.
